I do spend hours envisioning in my mind how that day would be when I'd be pronounced the best. I looked forward to having all the equipments and the best designers company world wide. I always thought of how possible it'd be and deep deep down I strongly believed it would happen someday, as I'd always say ; its a matter of time.
As a little girl I was then, I knew the future is so bright. I could feel what it was like and I never let that dream die.
But along the line I lost it, I lost the courage. I couldn't move on with that dream, the beautiful thought of becoming that dream designer started fading away, the dreams started dying and before I could say "say jack Robinson" it was gone.
One cold evening, I decided to examine myself; I searched but behold its all gone. I never knew "when" and "how" but it was all gone.
It took me time to figure out "The Why" I lost that passion, and this is it.
I earnestly searched for approval, needed families, friends that are very supportive but found no one. It was so painful how friends criticised by little beginning, it was heart breaking how every single person in the family made me feel then as if I took the worst decision ever.
And since I couldn't get the volume of support I wanted, I unknowingly allowed the dream cripple...
At the later end I discovered one thing, and that was also a lesson to me---> It doesn't really matter what friends and families think. It doesn't matter what societies think when it comes to my dreams. The only thing that matters is the great future that lies ahead, the only thing that matters are my efforts towards achieving that dream, the only thing that matters are my focus, determination,and consistency towards it.....
My self esteem is gone, my dream was shattered and I'm depressed.
Who can help??

No comments:
Post a Comment